(CNN)-PEZ Candy abruptly canceled its third annual Easter egg hunt Saturday after parents stormed the field in Connecticut, according to a company news release. Children as young as 4 were pushed aside by parents eager to grab as many of the 9,000 eggs hidden in three fields. “When it came time, at like 10:30 a.m. ET, the parents just bum-rushed that area,” West Haven resident Nicole Welch told CNN affiliate WFSB. “When my son left, he had a broken basket, and he was hysterically crying.” (CNN)
What a way to start off your Easter holiday, just have parents start mollywhopping children left and right so they can give their spoiled children all of life’s finest riches it has to offer. And apparently those riches are CANDY FROM A PEZ COMPANY EGG HUNT. Come on guys I think we all know this just doesn’t look good and it truly is common sense here to not start throttling little kids across the field for a PEZ candy. What’s even is PEZ candy? Isn’t it just those little things that come out of the dispenser which you just start eating out of the sleeve once the novelty of pulling back Darth Vader’s head wears off? Please dear god tell me that’s not what children are getting their face stiff-armed for.
Not this year! Nobody is taking my child’s outrageously small candy that there’s no possible way I should be able to rationalize doing this to a small child but I’m here anyways so protect ya neck youngins. I’m honestly not even sure whether I’d rather grow up having to go to church on Easter Sunday or watching my mom abandon me to go prison yard brawl with other moms while I wander aimlessly around a PEZ factory looking for the good stuff so I don’t have to hunt eggs. Probably church honestly, priest jokes get funnier in the lame way the older you get and some of my best day dreams of being an NFL quarterback have happened there. Good times.
Ps- Every egg hunt mom on Easter Sunday when they roll up to the PEZ factory.