Guy Who Crashed Into Mama Leone’s Only Gets Cited For Speeding

  

NEWPORT, RI—The owner of Newport’s popular Mama Leone’s restaurant is still in a state of shock Saturday afternoon after a car smashed into the front of her building overnight. Paulina Reves said that “the place is just a mess” and “we’re trying to get our heads around this.” Meanwhile her employees are out of work for the time being and coolers full of product is at risk. Newport police Captain Peter Calo said the driver of the BMW that plowed into the building, James Bell, 33, of Jacksonville, FL, was on his way to Newport Naval Base when he lost control of his car on JT Connell Highway just before 1:30 a.m. Bell was not seriously hurt in the crash, but he did suffer a cut to the face when the airbag deployed, Calo said. Bell was cited for speeding and failure to maintain proper control of his vehicle. (Patch)

Pump the breaks here for a second (nailed it). You’re telling me this guy only got cited for speeding? In what world do we live in where I am now livid but at the same time very worried about this whole situation and no justice is being brought. If any of that food goes bad I may have to rampage just to prove a point that a lot of things can go unpunished, but when when Florida starts to trifle with our Italian Cuisine establiments, it only means one thing. 

I know nobody thought we’d be coming off of Spring Break/Easter just declaring war on Florida eating establishments but hey, this knucklehead wandered on to the wrong island that belongs to a bigger island which is a state. Wrong move messing with so many state sub-islands, especially when Florida is a lame peninsula which is basically just the try hards of islands but will never fit in because you’re ultimately still attached to Georgia.

*gets up to get Florida some ice for that burn*

After a heated argument and an intense session of debating with my cabinet of defensive specialists (few of my old action figures) I’ve decided to cite this guy with a warning for Florida so they know not to come looking for trouble anymore. The rotary excuse just got used up and there’s nothing else even remotely confusing about driving left to say. Some may say this was letting him off the hook, but who hasn’t flown their car into a restaurant store front first time around a rotary? Exactly. 

Ps- This guy should thank Tim Tebow, I couldn’t do anything to my best friend’s home state it just wouldn’t be cool.

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